You got the whole world.

When you’re young and you make a mistake or mess up entirely too big. You automatically get shade or shame from the public. I’m personally sick and tired of hearing and reading articles about it all. Say for example… you get pregnant, get a drug charge or cheat on your SAT test. Did you screw up? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No.

When people first found out that I was pregnant there were a lot of tears. But, it wasn’t necessarily “bad tears”. I remember pacing in the kitchen with my Mom by my side and there was two pregnancy test laying on the table. We honestly didn’t know what to expect. I kept saying in my head and out loud “there is no way it can be positive, no way” well, it was. As most of you all know. From that moment on my life was forever changed.

Why I can dislike the biological father… he never stayed nor wanted no part of any of this. The first time I told him I was pregnant he lied to me and said “well, there is no way it’s me, that’s impossible.” Anything is impossible when you’re living in fear. He already had a daughter that he couldn’t see due to his life style and poor actions. How could he have another kid on the way? The most manliest and mature thing is never to lie about your actions but to take full responsibility for them. We all make mistakes but it’s how we deal with them that matters the most.

How Jesus washes your slate clean…

I have always struggled with my past. It comes back to haunt me quite often. But, what haunts me the most is my sexual past. Have you ever heard the expression “the people you sleep with become your ghosts” well, that’s how I felt for the longest time and still struggle with it from time to time. The devil knows it one of my weakest spots. A lot of those chains have been broken and I know The Lord has already forgiven me. I felt like I was wearing a long, heavy, black coat for the longest time that could never come off.

But, Jesus wants you to be wearing a short,light,pure,white coat. He can provide that experience for you. Sex is one of the most beautiful, personal and loving things two souls can possible do together. It creates a deep bondage. But, most people take advantage or it and make it a nasty thing, which it was never meant to be…

When I met you for the first time in Pet Mania…

The first time I met you in Pet Mania with one of you ex girlfriends by your side. I never thought you would be my forever. But, shockingly you are. I found out you went to the same church as me. I always wanted to talk to you and get to know you better but I knew your girlfriend didn’t like me or would of wanted me to talk to you. So, years went by where we would see each other from a distance and be friends on social media but, that was it. Little did I know that within this last year and a half of us talking that you were going to be my family. Little did I know that you were going to fall in love with me and want to adopt my son. Wild, right? No. That’s just the power of Jesus. He is too good.

Why we love you, we love you because you stayed. WE love you because you never judged but, you continued to love us unconditionally, love us no matter how hard it got or how much worry attacked your gentle heart. It’s crazy how I haven’t even given birth to Teagan yet but, look at all the wonders that Jesus has provided and already had planned for us, and this is only the beginning of it all.

Feelin’ beautiful…

Most of everyone that I know has some type of stretch marks. Should your identity ever be in how you view yourself or how you look? No. It should always be in Jesus. Because, he is the one that made you and shaped you into something beautiful. I have really been struggling feeling beautiful or “sexy” during this pregnancy my confidence level has gone down greatly. But, it has truly taught me that looks aren’t everything and they never should be. Is it good to be in shape and want to feel good about yourself? Yes. But, should it be the only thing you focus on and more importantly the only thing you “look” for in people. No. When you are growing another beautiful human inside of you that should always be your number one. Even when Mommy feels ugly or gross. I have a beautiful baby boy growing in me. The human body is amazing and God granted me with one of my biggest blessings. Ever.

How he heals…

Healing has always been a long process, right? It’s never quick. You usually always have to take care of your cuts or scrapes and they usually turn into scars. Which takes years for them to go away. Sometimes, they never do. I personally have a lot of scars on my body and each one has a story and some of them have made me stronger. I feel like that’s how Jesus views our hearts. He knows we all have damage and we all have scars and that some hearts are damaged more than others. My heart was damaged for the longest time before Jesus healed me and made it new again. I encourage you to do the same thing. It’s worth it. I promise. He can truly he heal and heal you in ways you never thought were possible.

Ephesians 6:11-18

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.